A bit of romance

It all started earlier that evening.
We stood on the balcony of the palace – Dad, Mom and I – and we saw you approaching with your procession. The sun painted the air with a soft light, and the golden engravings of the palanquin carried along the large delegation you brought with you gleamed.
Dad, his favorite crown placed on his head, looked at me and winked slightly.
No expenses spared. You knew how much my parents loved entrances.
You brought elephants, horses, cute little monkeys that zipped back and forth along the line, clowns and jesters who tossed colored balls and bluish fire torches in the air. One small orchestra at the beginning of the column, and a second small orchestra at its end…
The masses were on both sides of your parade, cheering. They knew who you were. The son of a King was arriving after a journey of a thousand days to request the King’s daughter’s hand in marriage. They threw flowers and shouted and cheered like crazy. They were cute, but had no understanding of politics, apparently.
At the head of the column, there you were. Standing straight and beautiful, proud just like the Prince you are, riding – oh, how symbolic – on a white horse.

All I could think was, what a waste it all is for a first date.

When you arrived at the palace doorstep you came down from your horse. The three of us were already waiting for you below. Mom made me wear that blue dress with the puffed sleeves.
Dad went and shook your hand warmly. Mom approached and you kissed her hand gallantly. When you got to me you kneeled, lowered your head, then raised your eyes to me and said, “Princess, rumors of your beauty do you no justice. I am grateful for your very presence here today.”
Then it was all about the presents, of course.
Dad gave you a box carved by the finest artists of the kingdom, saying things about the importance of art, education and stuff.
And you, with a perfect sense of tact, brought him a sword forged for ten years by the mountain people of your country.
You’d done your research well. You knew how crazy my dad is for ancient swords, and that he almost faints at the sight of swords made by the mountain people. You handed him the sword and said something high-brow, like “Real sword to the king of truth,” or something of that sort. I was no longer listening.

I just thought that if this entire ceremony were inside, the subjects you brought with you carrying the palanquin would not have had to stand in the sun for an hour and a half for no reason and sweat.

Dinner at the palace was awfully long.
I changed again to yet another ball gown. Sometimes, even though I am a princess, I sit to eat dinner in a jumpsuit or something similar. But tonight I didn’t even stand a chance; that’s what happens when a Prince comes for a Princess’s hand in marriage. You organize a nine-course meal.
Nine. I’ll be damned.
There were pheasants, geese, fattened chickens, eight types of rice, and all kinds of things in wine; honey, fish, exotic fruits, and desserts that could smash a two-year diet and god knows what else. You and Dad dwelled in deep discussion about all sorts of things related to the management realms. I think you made a really good impression on him.
You’d also impressed my maids, apparently. They liked you from the first moment and thought you were courteous. One of them, thinking I could not hear her, commented on the width of your shoulders and chest muscles.

And I sat and through dinner and thought, what a shame for all those pheasants. So much waste.

After the intimate dinner only the four of us attended (not including the eleven servants standing around like a disciplined army) the ball started, of course.
A different dress, what else?
Rosen, that Duchess, and all the who’s who came to meet you. The main hall was crowded with people who felt very important because they have degrees. Even on Dad’s birthday, six months ago, at the big ball he held for the whole kingdom, I didn’t see such quantities of wine.
Of course, it turned out that you were also a gifted piano player. For almost three quarters of an hour, you dedicated amazing pieces to me on the piano while the entire crowd stood around holding long glasses and staring with wide-open eyes. Then you got up, delivered a long and moving speech about love and giving, uniting the kingdoms, and the power of love to create new worlds and other stuff.

All I needed was the bathroom the whole time you played. It drove me mad; I wasn’t even listening.

Then, after everyone had gone and the clock showed midnight had long passed, I went out to the porch to relax in the cold air.
Sounds of bells from all the departing coaches carrying rich counts and the powerful dukes of the kingdom were carried to me on the wind, and two snow-white pigeons stood on the balcony banister, side-by-side.
I took a deep breath and tried to put everything that had happened that day in order in my mind.
There was a light knock, and when I turned I saw you standing there, tall and beautiful, full moonlight playing in your hair.
You approached me and looked deep into my eyes.
You said something about a great night, I think, and something about my beauty and wisdom, if I remember correctly. You made some statements of love that sounded like a good old love song; you kneeled on one knee and looked at me.

You had started to tell me something about the great pleasure and honor you would have if I chose to be your Princess and gave you my hand in marriage and…and as you said that, out came the strongest and loudest belch I have ever heard.
Really.
I had heard all kind of belches, but that one sounded like something had been waiting for YEARS to come out. You BBBHHAAA-ed so loud that the two pigeons on the banner flew away, terrified.
I look at you and tried to think of what to say. You looked back at me, but that belch still echoed in my ears.
Then you just started laughing like I do not know what, so much your whole body was trembling.
And that entire princely figure just fell apart and revealed a guy that was trying for too long to be formal, and I saw small tears in your eyes from the laughter, and you fell and started rolling on the floor, holding your stomach and choking while trying to tell me, “Walla…huh…Hey…That’s probably not really me, huh? ”
And you kept laying down on the floor, your whole body shaking in waves, choking and giggling to yourself, paying no attention whatsoever to me.
I stood looking at how you lay down there on the floor, your careful outfit completely destroyed, amused as a little boy by what just happened, and what could I do?
I just fell in love with you.